…..and as ridiculous as it sounds this childish part inside of me refuses to stop until she has concrete answers.

  The adult understands that there will never be concrete answers-  not until after my last breath-   and if the world fades to black  never to light up again,  I would not know even then.

With this battle of wits inside my head-  between this stubborn child and remisive adult, the child always seems to win out.

When I find myself longing for a loved one whom has passed into this mysterious other side I ponder about their souls.  Where have they gone?  Have they already settled into another being and this has become their new home-  or– are they nesting.  Waiting, waiting for the long told second coming?

This child in me wants to know.  If she really thinks about this ….REALLY thinks about this with an agonizing determination….insisting she will never leave this room….with the utmost conviction in her heart….as hard as she can….she has to have answers….but she never does.